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Friday, May 23, 2008

Making friends can be easy if you're a social person. If you're shy, new or don't know where to start you should keep reading for great tips.


Introduce yourself to people who you don't know, whether one of you are new to the school or not. Be especially welcoming to new people starting school.

  • Smile at that person and be friendly. People are much more approachable and less intimidating when they smile.
  • Make a great first impression. Most people form an opinion about you in less than 60 seconds.
    • Dress appropriately
    • Don't be rude or offensive
    • Remember people may not appreciate your sarcasm or sense of humor. Save it until you get to know each other.

  • Compliment them. Everyone likes a pat on the back. Don't lie but find something positive you point out. It will make them more comfortable around you.
  • Start a conversation with them.
    • Ask about their interests, classes they have, some people they hang out with, what sports they're in, etc. This should branch off of the introduction. Ask more about their classes. "Who's the teacher?"
    • Ask when they have lunch. If you have lunch at the same time you can suggest you meet there, eat together and talk more.

  • Extend an invitation. If you're going to the movies, mall, etc. you can ask if they'd like to go. If you can have people over to your house you can also ask them.
  • Talk in the halls and on your way to classes. You'll also get a better feel for where their classes are and if you have any together.
  • Offer to show new people around or walk with them to their next class to show them the way.
  • Befriend a group. If you want to make more than one, look for a group of girls/boys that you would like to get to know better. Repeat these steps with a few people in the group. They'll likely fit in once a few people know you.
  • Hold back a little bit because you don't want them to think that you guys are best friends; you guys aren't yet after only a few days. After you get to know them, and if you like them, then start asking them if they want to come to a sleepover or go to a concert, or other activities like friends would do. Ideally, they'll feel comfortable and ask you first.
  • Understand if there is a group dynamic. Often in groups of friends there will be one main character, someone who always seems to take the lead. Sometimes if you try to become closer to them the rest of the group will except you more easily but if this doesn't work, don't feel offended. Trying to be friends with someone who is close to the group leader can work too but make sure to include the others or they may become jealous.
  • Share your hobbies and interest. Invite them along to participate.
  • Avoid being co-dependent. It's alright to have other friends and interests. Don't let your world revolve around another person.
  • Be reliable, even if it may seem a little boring at first they'll appreciate it even if they don't immediately realize it.
    • If you say you'll bring in the rest of the physics project tomorrow, make sure you bring it in.

  • Keep private information to yourself. It's tempting to share your secrets to force growth of a friendship. Resist that urge.
    • Until you know they are trustworthy you should assume they could tell others your private information.
    • If you tell someone something you don't want shared, specifically let them know the information is private.

  • Understand that confidence is helpful but not a necessity to make friends. Look for others that seem shy if you are also very shy.
  • Look interested when people talk to you. Being a good listener is key to a friendship. When you talk to someone use their name. It is scientifically proven that people like the sound of their own name.
  • Laugh at people's jokes. If you can see they made an effort on a particular joke you should acknowledge the humor. Keep it subtle if it isn't very funny. You don't want to seem to laugh at bad jokes. It's alright to quietly chuckle or just to smile.
  • Ring one of your friends and talk to them for a while every so often. It makes them feel wanted and more important to you. If you see something that reminds you of them you can send an SMS to tell them about it. Don't send something you don't want read by others.
  • Keep some perspective. Not everyone is welcoming to new friends and some are just mean about outsiders. If you receive a negative or rude remark you should keep your distance from that person. Being rude is a sign of poor character and you probably don't need that sort of friend.

  • Tips
    • Believe in yourself, smile, have a few laughs together, be a good friend to them. If it doesn't work out, shake it off and keep trying.
    • Try to strike up a conversation! If you're shy, then add on to other people conversations.
    • Be as outgoing as you are comfortable with. If not, this will give you some practice on opening up and not being as shy.
    • Do not grovel and act desperate. This is easily spotted and people will push you away quickly.
    • Do not spread gossip about them behind their back. Is that a way to treat a soon to be friend?
    • Do not give up your old friends if they are nice. Try to keep both. If your old friends have a problem with your new friends, try to work it out to the best of your ability.


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