Friday, September 12, 2008
Are you someone who cares about his or her family but you're finding the family emotions a little overwhelming and you're not yet living a happy family life? Then here are some suggestions that may just help you.
Respect your parents. Do this not just by giving them respect, but by listening to what they say and trying your best to make them happy. Realize that you may be able to choose your friends, but you're born to your family. If there's nothing you can do to please your parents, you'll be happier if you just accept it for now and focus on pleasing yourself. Making others happy is secondary to being happy yourself. And things do change over time.
Realize that life is not always going to go smoothly. Try to face the "ups and downs" in your family life with positive thinking and a cool mind. But your family doesn't have the right to make you miserable just because they're family. Try to get along, but if it doesn't work, let it go.
Try to compromise whenever and wherever it's possible. When you see that the people who you love most are happy, you will have a feeling of great happiness. You will have to compromise a lot in life; family is the first environment to begin learning this important skill, amongst people who know you best and can guide you with their reactions, thoughts and suggestions. Even the things they don't tell you become a learning experience.
Give occasional gifts to your family members. Surprise gifts can be great because most people love them. The best gifts tend to be the ones you make yourself, or put a lot of thought into. Also appreciated are gifts of your time; doing tasks around the house that haven't been done for a while such as painting touch-ups, restoring missing door handles etc. and clearing away clutter.
Be honest with your parents, but bear in mind that they don't always need to know everything. If you get along well, you can open up, but if you don't, avoiding tender subjects can keep the peace. Sometimes saying nothing can be better for a family relationship than saying everything. Family is forever. Why fight about the little things?
Feel free to communicate with each and every person in your family. Listen to them when they want to say something; try to be with them when they need you. Bear in mind that the needs of your family don't outweigh your own. Give them your time and love, not your life.
Dedicate a slot, it may be once a week or once a month in which you have a 'Family Time'. This could be anything,watching a movie together, playing a game, going out on a trip, but make sure it is something everyone will enjoy.
Eat together. Modern-day life makes this virually impossible to do, however, it really does change your family life dramatically -- for the better.
Make time for siblings. They know you best, and they will tell you the whole truth, even when you don't want to hear it.
Accept that your relationship with your family depends on both you and them. If they can't meet you halfway, you will be happier if you don't spend all of your energy making all the effort.
Good values help us choose between right and wrong, good and evil. They also affect how we will spend our time, energy, and money. If children are taught good values when they are young, they are more likely to make wise decisions when they are older.
Home is the best place for children to learn values. Here are some basic values you may want to teach: Love, Honesty, Morality, Civility, Lifelong learning, Forgiveness and mercy, Thrift and industry, Gratitude, Optimism and Faith. Remember, the most effective method of teaching values is through example.
Compromise is the most valuable tool you have.
Sometimes families are just dysfunctional. It happens. You come first.
Don't put everything down to hormones. If your teenager feels reluctant to talk to you, he or she may be upset about somethin or being bullied. Ask if everything is okay.
Family members are never entitled to be abusive. If they are, don't waste your time. They can't always be won over with patience and kindness. Stay out of toxic situations when you can.
Naturally, men and women couple in order to reproduce, however their different forms of reasoning, options, desire, preference and visions affect the ‘love’ within a relationship. In this regard, this issue of our magazine highlights a love thought of by only one party.
When one exerts much effort to keep love alive within a relationship and it then fails, the one trying to hold the relationship together is heartbroken because the one that they love has rejected them.
In such a circumstance, the one with a broken heart needs to recognize that the relationship is over and to make a clear decision to stop pursuing this person as they are unable to love in return. To do this however, assistance is often needed.
Psychological findings reveal the reason behind why some relationships do not work and why in some instances love cannot be reciprocated. The reason is quite simple, the loved one cannot accept love from the lover because it is not a mutual feeling, and the love is not considered by both parties.
There are several reasons to why it is hard to stop loving and to forget such intense love, these are due to s/he 1) Always thinking about the good qualities found within the loved one; 2) Reminiscing over any little thing from the past such as text messages and emails that were written in the heat of the moment; and 3) not speaking the truth in front of the loved one, this is, keeping the feeling of love as a secret.
To stop loving someone that does not love you in return, you first have to accept and face the truth that your love is not possible. You then need to rid yourself of anything that could remind you of him such as text messages and songs you listened to. Another tip that will help you forget the person is to think that there are better people out there with whom you, as a brokenhearted person, could find true love with, a love that is felt with passion on both sides. In other words, you realize that the person you previously loved is not the perfect person.
When applying all of these tips, the brokenhearted person can forget the memory of a love lost and all the other factors that lead you to love this person. To be released from this spiritual tension, you need to convince yourself that you will meet a better person or think that the person you previously loved is no longer important to you.
Another approach to help forget about a person who does not love you is to try and end the routine of thinking about them, over and over again.
Stop saying that 1) I cannot live without you; 2) I cannot stop loving you; 3) I love this person more than any other; 4) I cannot love anyone else; 5) There is no one better than this person, they are perfect.