Monday, September 8, 2008
Do you find yourself stereotyping others just because they're different than you? Do you want to change that? Look no further-this article will help you.
Get to know people in different social groups. If you find yourself liking these person, then maybe that will help you to not judge. Be a "floater" don't be afraid to branch out.
Try not to apply certain characteristics to groups of people. For example, it is wrong to assume that all gangsters do drugs, or all preps are stuck-up, as this might not be the case.
Be nice to everyone. Just because someone wears black, it doesn't change the fact that they're a nice person.
Don't ever try and change anyone. If the girl sitting next to you happens to be wearing emo-ish clothes, then don't try and do a "makeover" on her. It is her choice to dress this way, and she isn't telling you to dress like her, so lay off and let her be who she wants. Respect people's decisions.
Don't mock people if they happen to like different things then you. Remember, everybody's different.
Convince your friends to join in and stop hating on people because of their social groups.
* Stay true to yourself.
* Don't worry about popularity.
There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.
Tell the truth. Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.
Appreciate yourself and your partner. Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!
Listen. All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both. Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." Let your partner know you're hearing them.
Create romance within yourself first. We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!
Ask for what you want. Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.) Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.
Bring play back into your relationship. Levity is a sexy thing. If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have to do, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you will not feel romantic. Laugh about the ways that you take your self out of a romantic mood, and soon, you will be back in it.
Speak your partner's love language. We often become confused and disappointed by expecting the other person to do such and such romantic things. Do to your partner the things they like as well as you telling them what 'you' like, want, and expect. When you fulfill their needs and desires, you will end up receiving the same in return!
Accept each other unconditionally, respect each others wishes and dislikes. Keep the mystery and fascination to each other. Love each moment as if it is the last.
Communicate with your partner about what each of you wants in the area of romance, without making the other person feel wrong for their desires. One may want less romance, the other may want more, however by communicating, each can have what they want, it just may not look the way you think it is supposed to. For example, how could you create a romantic evening just for yourself? (This is a really powerful step to creating a life of joy!)
Portions of this article are based on the works of Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
Many couples will subconsciously create an argument just when there is an opportunity for romance. This happens because we have conditioned ourselves to avoid intimate connection. We are afraid of being hurt when we are most open and vulnerable, thus we shut down without even realizing we are doing it. When this happens, take notice, without judging yourself or your partner. Instead try once more to spark a connection by using the steps above.
Being sarcastic with the one you love is not romantic or funny, unless both partners realize the mood.
Many women don't dress as nicely after marriage as they did before. Often practical concerns such as child rearing cause us to dress down. Changing body image as one goes from a young single girl to a mom is also a major concern. But with understanding and a little creativity, you can help your wife define a new sexy style for herself.
Compliment her. One reason she may be dressing down is that she doesn't feel good about her appearance. Be specific about what you love about her body.
If she has a specific complaint about her appearance, don't be glib. Even if it is nothing to you, what she feels is very important. Acknowledge her feelings and encourage her gently to view herself differently.
Buy her a piece of clothing that you would like her to wear. Make sure it is something she will like and make sure it is her size. It must fit her personality too - a mom will not wear something that is made for a teenager.
Take her out someplace nice where other people will be dressed up. Be sure to compliment her. Let her know how proud you are to be seen with such an attractive lady.
You should dress well too. Don't walk around in sweatsuits and act shocked if your wife dresses the same.
Try shopping together online. It can be much less stressful than traditional shopping.
Expecting your wife to dress NICELY is fine. But do not try to push her into wearing something she feels is too revealing.
Many men love high heels but many women find them too painful to wear. If this is the case with your wife, let it go. Don't ask her to break her neck for you.
Pointing out how nicely another woman is dressed is not a good idea.