Saturday, March 28, 2009
Ever had a friend take advantage of you? Well, some people don't realize that their friends are human. They also don't understand that their friends deserve respect. Don't jump to conclusions. If you think a friend is using you, think about it calmly and objectively. Think about how you think they are using you. If you are really stuck, it may be worth asking a mutual friend if he or she has spotted anything out of order recently.
Imagine your positions are switched and think up a possible situation (one where you think your friend used you is better). Think about your reactions to what your friends are saying/doing and vice versa. If they did something you'd never, ever do, then it's possible they are using you. (i.e.: friend asks for a CD, you'd give it back, he or she wouldn't and now ignores you = using) Confront your friend in a calm but assertive manner. Tell them your reasons for suspecting that they are using you. Apologize if you were wrong. It's not nice to be accused of using somebody.
Look them straight in the eye when confronting them. Don't joke around when confronting them. You want them to know you are being serious. Question them on their actions, they might have a reasonable answer that just needed explaining. Before you go around accusing people, make sure that it really is a problem and you're not just making a big deal out of nothing.
If you ask them once and are satisfied that they aren't using you, drop the topic. Don't ever accuse somebody of using you to get your own way, as this isn't nice. Don't bring along another friend, or the accuse might feel surrounded. Make sure it's one-on-one and you're in a comfortable setting. If you are not sure the friend is using you wait a while, ask other people and don't ask them about it right away because it may not be true!