Friday, September 12, 2008
Are you someone who cares about his or her family but you're finding the family emotions a little overwhelming and you're not yet living a happy family life? Then here are some suggestions that may just help you.
Respect your parents. Do this not just by giving them respect, but by listening to what they say and trying your best to make them happy. Realize that you may be able to choose your friends, but you're born to your family. If there's nothing you can do to please your parents, you'll be happier if you just accept it for now and focus on pleasing yourself. Making others happy is secondary to being happy yourself. And things do change over time.
Realize that life is not always going to go smoothly. Try to face the "ups and downs" in your family life with positive thinking and a cool mind. But your family doesn't have the right to make you miserable just because they're family. Try to get along, but if it doesn't work, let it go.
Try to compromise whenever and wherever it's possible. When you see that the people who you love most are happy, you will have a feeling of great happiness. You will have to compromise a lot in life; family is the first environment to begin learning this important skill, amongst people who know you best and can guide you with their reactions, thoughts and suggestions. Even the things they don't tell you become a learning experience.
Give occasional gifts to your family members. Surprise gifts can be great because most people love them. The best gifts tend to be the ones you make yourself, or put a lot of thought into. Also appreciated are gifts of your time; doing tasks around the house that haven't been done for a while such as painting touch-ups, restoring missing door handles etc. and clearing away clutter.
Be honest with your parents, but bear in mind that they don't always need to know everything. If you get along well, you can open up, but if you don't, avoiding tender subjects can keep the peace. Sometimes saying nothing can be better for a family relationship than saying everything. Family is forever. Why fight about the little things?
Feel free to communicate with each and every person in your family. Listen to them when they want to say something; try to be with them when they need you. Bear in mind that the needs of your family don't outweigh your own. Give them your time and love, not your life.
Dedicate a slot, it may be once a week or once a month in which you have a 'Family Time'. This could be anything,watching a movie together, playing a game, going out on a trip, but make sure it is something everyone will enjoy.
Eat together. Modern-day life makes this virually impossible to do, however, it really does change your family life dramatically -- for the better.
Make time for siblings. They know you best, and they will tell you the whole truth, even when you don't want to hear it.
Accept that your relationship with your family depends on both you and them. If they can't meet you halfway, you will be happier if you don't spend all of your energy making all the effort.
Good values help us choose between right and wrong, good and evil. They also affect how we will spend our time, energy, and money. If children are taught good values when they are young, they are more likely to make wise decisions when they are older.
Home is the best place for children to learn values. Here are some basic values you may want to teach: Love, Honesty, Morality, Civility, Lifelong learning, Forgiveness and mercy, Thrift and industry, Gratitude, Optimism and Faith. Remember, the most effective method of teaching values is through example.
Be patient.
Compromise is the most valuable tool you have.
Sometimes families are just dysfunctional. It happens. You come first.
Don't put everything down to hormones. If your teenager feels reluctant to talk to you, he or she may be upset about somethin or being bullied. Ask if everything is okay.
Family members are never entitled to be abusive. If they are, don't waste your time. They can't always be won over with patience and kindness. Stay out of toxic situations when you can.